Super Contra (arcade version) (version found in the Switch port of the Contra Anniversary Collection played for review)

This predates the Super Nintendo by several years, so the use of the term “super” here means to amplify all the qualities that defined the original property. The original property in question, however, sucked, an ugly game that askes you to dodge tiny, barely-defined bullets, and to its credit, “Super Contra” is more of that. The NES port is fairly beloved, but this version looks bad, plays worse, and has no novelty to it beyond being the game that introduced an overhead perspective to some levels—you know, the worst levels in a Contra game. As fun as licking walls.

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